Now He's Done It

While lounging in the living room with my lady one recent spring morning (Man! I love it when she doesn't go to work!), she and I were both startled to hear my man yelling, "Vaaalerieeee!" (my lady's name). She quickly placed me on the floor and dashed for the back porch door. Well, that was super weird for two reasons: (1) We both thought he had left for work, actually heard him drive away, and (2) my man never, and I mean N E V E R raises his voice. So when he yelled her name, I thought, "Uh-oh. She must have really done something bad wrong! I better go hide." But I couldn't resist finding out what all the commotion was about. So followed her. Somehow she knew! She dashed right out the back door and off the through the porch door to retrieve - you guessed it! -

T H E D O G !!

And I could not believe my eyes!!!!! Here came my man, carrying the dog out in front of him as if to say, "Yuck, come get this animal before he gets me wet and dirty!"

That crazy dog had jumped, yes I said JUMPED!! through, yes I said THROUGH!!! the screen on the back porch to chase!!! my man as he drove off to work.

My man was N O T happy about this. You see, not too many months after my lady brought the dog here to live, my man put brand-new screening on our back porch. Then one day, a friend of ours showed up at the house pulling a trailer. Well, for some reason none of us will ever understand, the dog went berserck!!! It seems he has a "thing" about trailers because everytime one travels up or down our driveway he goes absolutely insane crazy! I've never seen anything like it. It doesn't matter who it is or what they're pulling, the dog absolutely freaks out about trailers. And my man pulls trailers a lot. He's a very busy, hard-working man. Sometimes this trailer:

Sometimes this trailer:

or the lawn-mower trailer, or any kind of trailer.

The porch screen is quite a bone of contention (get it? bone? dog bone? shape of the dog's treats, not mine, though, because obviously, I am N O T a dog) between my man and the dog. The dog tore up both corners of the screen right after my man had just put that new screen in. Now, two years later, my man is still threatening to replace the torn screen and says that the dog can no longer go out on the porch. Every time he says this, I think, "Ha ha, dog, you're gonna get put in your place!" The dog

L O V E S going out on the porch. He hangs out there every time he can. He even asks to go out there all the time.

As I've mentioned before, the dog is . . . well, a dog. If it looks like a dog, smells like a dog, sheds like a dog, and behaves like a dog, you guessed it! It's a dog. What more can we expect.

Now where was I? Oh yes, relaxing in the lady's lap.