A Terrible Thing Has Happened to the Dog

Every Thursday or Friday, I go to see Bernie.  She's my groomer.  She bathes me, trims my hair, cleans me up really good.  I don't particularly like going to Bernie's and having all this rigamarole done to me, but it keeps my lady happy, so you do whatcha gotta do.

This Thursday was no different (or so I thought).  My man took me to the groomer, and I heard my lady saying that she and the dog would be leaving soon to take him to his groomer.  I should take a moment to explain why he doesn't go to Bernie.  It's because Bernie refuses to groom him.  He went to her once, he tried to bite her, and she said, "Never again."  He really shouldn't have tried that with her.  She's really a sweet lady.  Anyway . . .

Now, a trip to the groomer doesn't really change anything.  This is me before visiting Bernie:

and this is me just got home from the groomer.

See?  No big deal.  What you can't tell by looking at my pictures is that right before I go to see Bernie, I get a little, how shall we say, b.o. (body odor).  A bath is the only solution.  So off I go every Thursday.  Now, the dog is another story.  Amazingly enough, he doesn't have b.o.  Only dog I've ever known of that didn't smell like a dog.  So, he only has to go to his groomer once a month.  You see, he has a different kind of problem:  TONS and TONS of HAIR!!! If he doesn't get brushed out regularly he gets mats (ooo, I hate mats) and when that happens my lady starts snip-snip-snipping.  And the dog hates THAT.  So this Thursday was the day, and off he went. 

Later that day, I came home and boy, oh boy, was I in for a shock.  Something  B. A. D. happened at the dog's groomer this time.  I actually stopped and did a double-take when I saw it.

It was like, oh my goodness, I don't even know how to tell you.  I feel so sorry for the big guy.  This has to be the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to him.  Well, I guess the best thing to do is just let you see for yourself:

Somebody really messed up with the scissors, if you ask me.  He looks horrible, don't you agree?  My man said, "Toby, what'd they do to you, boy?  You look like you left your pants at the groomers."  My lady thinks he looks like a lion, except for the fact that no lion I ever saw has all that hair on his front legs.  She says they should have shaved his front legs, too, if they were gonna do that to him.  Poor guy.

And he just acts like nothing has happened!!!!!  I've told you before, the dog has no sense of dignity whatsoever.  He looked at me like, "What's your problem?"

And just to prove my point:

I mean really.  If your back half looked like this would you be sticking it up for the camera?

I didn't think so.  Thank God hair grows back.  This has got to be some kind of award-winning bad hair day.